Monday, January 23, 2012

Long Story Short

I have not been online in quite some time.  I have had this particular post written out in my mind for awhile, but just haven't put the thoughts down.  What to go into and what to keep to myself.  I normally try to only share positive thoughts and cheery statements, not only on line but around friends/family/acquaintances too.  When something is bothering me, I usually keep my thoughts to myself.  Not the healthiest way to be, but it has worked for me for 32 years, so why change now?  I can't really get out of explaining my absence without really addressing the issue behind it.  What I have been up to:

1.  Dealing with my son's school.  And his teachers.  Hearing a lot about disorders, emotional issues, and lots of this is wrong and that is wrong.  Hearing a lot of sentences that start, "well the way he does this is not normal" and "the way he talks is not normal" and "if you had another child you would know it is not normal."

2.  Developed an aversion to the word "normal."

3.  I was sick in November for Thanksgiving, December for Christmas and just to finish it out once more in January.

4.  I made a bunch of money selling stuff before Christmas and instead of purchasing new beads, paid off my bead Visa.  This is completely responsible and also completely out of character. 

5.  I have not bought beads in over two months.

6.  I have not made anything for longer then that.

I have no drive to make anything.  At all.  I used to have ideas swimming around in my head all the time.  So many I used to have to write them down because I can't draw to save my life, but now nothing.  All that extra space is taken up with worrying.  I joined the Bead Soup Blog Party party in an effort to rescue, recharge my muse, or whatever you want to call it.  Put of me knew that if I joined there was a chance I wouldn't make it in.  I figured if I didn't, ok, well not meant to be.  But now I know that I did get paired up with a lovely partner and I am going to have to make something out of what she sent me.  Can I do it?  Or will I stare at them and not have a clue?

Well, if you have made it this far, thank you for letting me vent.  I will take pictures of the soup that I receive and will properly introduce you to my partner, Vonna.  Just finished putting together her soup that I will hopefully get into the mail tomorrow.