Monday, January 23, 2012

Long Story Short

I have not been online in quite some time.  I have had this particular post written out in my mind for awhile, but just haven't put the thoughts down.  What to go into and what to keep to myself.  I normally try to only share positive thoughts and cheery statements, not only on line but around friends/family/acquaintances too.  When something is bothering me, I usually keep my thoughts to myself.  Not the healthiest way to be, but it has worked for me for 32 years, so why change now?  I can't really get out of explaining my absence without really addressing the issue behind it.  What I have been up to:

1.  Dealing with my son's school.  And his teachers.  Hearing a lot about disorders, emotional issues, and lots of this is wrong and that is wrong.  Hearing a lot of sentences that start, "well the way he does this is not normal" and "the way he talks is not normal" and "if you had another child you would know it is not normal."

2.  Developed an aversion to the word "normal."

3.  I was sick in November for Thanksgiving, December for Christmas and just to finish it out once more in January.

4.  I made a bunch of money selling stuff before Christmas and instead of purchasing new beads, paid off my bead Visa.  This is completely responsible and also completely out of character. 

5.  I have not bought beads in over two months.

6.  I have not made anything for longer then that.

I have no drive to make anything.  At all.  I used to have ideas swimming around in my head all the time.  So many I used to have to write them down because I can't draw to save my life, but now nothing.  All that extra space is taken up with worrying.  I joined the Bead Soup Blog Party party in an effort to rescue, recharge my muse, or whatever you want to call it.  Put of me knew that if I joined there was a chance I wouldn't make it in.  I figured if I didn't, ok, well not meant to be.  But now I know that I did get paired up with a lovely partner and I am going to have to make something out of what she sent me.  Can I do it?  Or will I stare at them and not have a clue?

Well, if you have made it this far, thank you for letting me vent.  I will take pictures of the soup that I receive and will properly introduce you to my partner, Vonna.  Just finished putting together her soup that I will hopefully get into the mail tomorrow.


  1. I am new to your blog and have really enjoyed looking at your posts. I'm sorry that you are having such a rough time right now. I don't have any words of wisdom, but just that the inspiration will come back; I know from personal experience. Hang in there ~ you are very talented and I'd love to see what you come up with next.

  2. Stephanie,
    What a ride you have been on these past few months. I know first hand that dealing with the school system can be very draining, try to keep positive thoughts and keep your mother 'cape' on! :) Congratulations on all your holiday sales, but I just can't imagine not buying beads! -- Your muse will come back, you design such beautiful jewelery! I am very happy the luck of the draw brought us together as partners. Stay well! Vonna

  3. Hi Steph, it's usually the darkest right before dawn. i sending you good wishes that your inspiration will come back with a vengence, having so many ideas and creative impulses you won't know what to do.

    When I'm in a funk, I have found if I change up my craft to do something totally new to me it can help get me out of the funk. Have you tried finger painting and just playing with some fun art supplies, going to the book store and browsing magazines on mediums you don't normally work with? Good luck new friend. ♥

    I’m blog hopping and visiting all the bead soup participants. Can’t wait to see the big reveals.

    ♥ tejae

  4. Please feel free to email me about the school thing (my email is in my profile) -- I'm quite sure I could help and if nothing else be an ear... similar stuff.

  5. Hope the bead soup gets you out of your funk. It seems to have pushed you a bit had to think and be curious to put together Vonna's soup :)

    All the best, and hope to see you active again!

  6. wow! i felt just the way you feel a couple weeks ago, and i read a beautifull book called women and stress, the last chapter its all about ways for making our energy come back when its gone, it says that sometimes we need REAL rest, a few days of doing just the things we really enjoy, and avoid thinking about our job, or anything else that makes us feel worried, i had five glorious mornings where my only goal was feeling good, i played with my dog, read all the books i love, cooked, bead, and specially stayed at bed and think about all the blessings i had in my life, now i feel way better, relaxed, focused, and my cretivity is back!!!! My suggestion? Try it. you will feel much better, see you at Bead Soup Blog Party!!!

  7. Steph,

    I'm new to your blog, and I don't know anything about your son, so I hope this doesn't sound silly or ignorant.

    I had troubles with certain teachers throughout school, and one thing I've learned is that there is too much of an emphasis on what's normal! So I've got an aversion to the word, too. Sometimes it's not a matter of normal/abnormal, but ordinary/extraordinary, and the right people will see that.